Bipolar Disorder - Heaven & Hell

The Bipolar Blog Makes A Move

2006-06-29T15:23:00.000+10:00

This bipolar blog has shut. It's not because I've given up posting, it's simply because Wordpress blogging software is just so much better.

Consequenly I have closed this blog and started a new one for which I own the domain name and host it at my hosting service. A lot more control this way after having several blogs deleted by blogger.

You can visit the new blog by clicking on Bipolar Disorder.

Regards to all and see you at the new joint!

The Bipolar Daily

2006-06-08T22:58:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Well look at this, I'm back posting within a day and what a day it has been. I lost my entire new site locally and had to download the whole lot from the server again. Not a lot of fun when you are stuck on dial up because you are too far out in the bush for anyone to care about.

I got to bed last night about 10pm and slept through till 8.15am, so I caught up after my bipolar marathon. It certainly was exactly that. Seventeen hours straight work and then a few hours sitting around until I got tired enough to go to bed. Ended up being 20 hours straight without sleep! Still, that's not unusual for bipolar people I suppose. You get a run on, get excited, do a million things at once and then do nothing afterwards. Well, I have still kept going.

Hey. Watched a great DVD tonight that I ordered a week or so ago. It was called "What the bleep do we know". You may have seen it or you may not have, but I certainly recommend it. It's all about quantum physics which is right up my alley.

In some ways it's a bit of a follow on to the Celestine Prophecy series of books. If you haven't read those I recommend them also. The funny thing is that these things seme to come into your life when you're ready for them. I've had the Celestine Prophecy series for years and then all of a sudden this DVD of "What the bleep do we know" has come up at least 5 times in the last month or so. Consequently I got it and watched. There was something higher than me pointing me in that direction.

Time to check the email and pop into bed for the night.

Mood rating at time of post - 6

Cheers for this little bipolar black duck

The Bipolar Daily

2006-06-07T15:56:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Well haven't I been naughty because I just noticed I hadn't posted since Saturday. Sometimes it's hard for me to get online on the weekend, but there wasn't really any excuse for yesterday except that I am flat our working on projects at the moment.

I have a new web site that I'm developing and this along with the maintenance of the other sites is really pushing me. Rather, I am pushing myself.

I've been up since 2am this morning after going to bed at 10pm last night. So with 4 hours sleep, I haven't stopped since I got up in the middle of the night. I'm certainly having one of those little bipolar episodes at the moment. I just tried to have a snooze on the couch, but my mind is racing with all the things I need to do and posting here was one of them.

Well, can't stop. Must keep on keeping on!

Mood rating at time of post - 8 (but overtired)

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-06-03T23:51:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

I missed last night through tiredness. Absolutely harrowed and stressed out. I have so much on at the moment it is really getting to me, but at the same time I'm loving it. Everything has to be done today of course, nothing can wait.

I've launched a new site on internet marketing and I have great plans for it. I am sick to death of all the crap and hype about programs, ebooks etc that goes on so I have launched a site that will tell it like it is with no holds barred. If a program is going for $150 and you can get the same thing elsewhere for $50, then we will say so. Obviously, some people will say you won't make as much money, but I firmly believe that honesty and ethics will always prevail and you will attract a much larger following who trust your recommendations.

Sleep last night was very patchy. Bed at 8.30pm and up at 11.30pm till 4am. Then back to bed till 7.30am and then I had another 2 hours snooze during the day. I need to get my head clear. It is just racing with ideas at the moment and I lose track of things.

Speaking of losing track! I meant to say that whilst the site on internet marketing was my idea and funded by me, I decided to bring in a partner. Then because of the amount of work in reviewing all these programs, I have also brought in contributing authors. This should make the workload much lighter and the site considerably better.

Well off to bed.

Mood rating at time of post for this little bipolar - 5

All the best

Keywords: bipolar
bipolar disorder
manic depression
manic
depression

The Bipolar Daily

2006-06-01T12:32:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

I have been remiss over the last two days. I've been working very hard and getting very tired. So tired in fact that I was in bed just after 8pm last night.

I'm working on putting up a new web site and I think I'm suffering from information overload. I have several things happening at once and trying to read and digest a heap of new information so I can put it into practice. Maybe I just need to make it happen and fine tune a little later, but I need to get the site up as soon as possible to take advantage of some things happening at the moment. Well, that's how I feel, but that could well be the bipolar urgency of things that we feel from time to time. Maybe it won't make any difference at all!

Yesterday I felt very stressed out and rather anxious. I haven't been like that for some time. We are having some extensions done to the house, and there were some issues with the footings and the plans etc which got me rattled. Give me a computer any time. That's where I feel comfortable. As soon as I go outside my known areas I get very anxious. And who said I wasn't bipolar??

Anyway, I'm back into it and have posted again. I'm pleased I haven't let it all go.

Mood rating at time of post - 3

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-29T23:14:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

A good day overall and not much to report. I have been very settled despite the fact that I had over 500 articles to review and sort out for my article directory. I took some short cuts, but I got it done so that was the main thing. The site is up to date and my article and author count is growing.

I registered a new domain name today, www.no-bull.net. It isn't set up yet, but I have started work on it. I see so many new programmes, some of which are free and some that aren't that I decided to set this site up to include them all. I intend to do a review of them all and rate them. People will have the chance to opt in to an email list to keep them up to date, but others will also have the chance to follow links from the site or download stuff direct. We'll see how it goes.

My darling wife made me go for a walk of four kilometres this afternoon. I didn't really mind as I felt like I needed a break from the day's work anyway, but it's the first exercise I've done for ages. I hate exercise!!

Well, it's off to bed for me. I had a good 9 hours sleep last night and haven't been tired today.

Mood rating at time of post - 5

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-28T23:07:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

I missed yesterday, and I probably will most Saturdays, because my darling wife doesn't like me being online on the weekends. That's fair enough I suppose as I spend enough time online during the week and the least I can do is spend Saturday nights with her. We had a lovely time too just chatting, watching a bit of TV and having a couple of wines with each other. It was great. The problem is that if I don't post, I forget things!

Last night I was in bed by 11.30 and woke up at 8am. I had a cup of coffee and then went back to sleep until 10am. I was very tired, but have no idea why. I did some jobs outside, but I can't remember what they were now, but then this afternoon we went and got 10 bags of wheat for the chooks from a farmer, so it was a bit of a drive out in the bush. We had to sew up the wheat bags and then load them on the trailer to bring them home and then offload them into the shed. After that we lit a fire and cooked a leg of pork in a camp oven for tea. I just love sitting in front of the fire and smelling a roast cooking away on the coals.

The cat is still with us. (Remember the cat?) Well she may be going tomorrow. It's possible we may have found a good home for her and if that's the case, then good. Otherwise it looks like she will be here for good.

I was going to say that was all I had to record, but I just remembered that I had to go and have a snooze at 5pm. I just couldn't stay awake any longer. I only had 1/2 hour, but I was rejuvenated. Oh and another thing. I had some soup for lunch today and my hand is still shaking when I try to eat. It's worrying me a bit but I'll wait till I see the doc!

Mood rating at time of post - 4

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-26T23:03:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Just a short one tonight I hope. Been very busy all day putting up a new web site on depression. Always best to stick to things you have an interest in. We'll see how it goes. Consequently I got distracted from my normal duties and didn't get any done. Well, I'll just have to catch up when I can. I just had the opportunity today to do this and thought it was a good chance to expand my income base from ads. Mind you, this is all speculative to some extent and will only be proven over time. Here's hoping!

Went down the RSL club tonight for a few drinks, so at least I did get a break.

Mood rating at time of post - 4

Take care,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-25T23:06:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Well it's been a pretty good day today. I had over 9 hours sleep last night and then set about my day's work. It was interrupted because I had to go and do some maintenance on our rental property and I was a bit annoyed about that, but it had to be done.

I still managed to do all my work in getting all my articles read and approved. I also managed to finish submitting an article to a whole heap of directories. I have to find a more expedient way of doing that because it has taken me 3 days to submit one article. That is just not efficient enough.

Tonight has been a bit quiet. Watched a bit of TV and had a nice night with my darling wife.

I have so many ideas to implement that are racing through my head. I just can't seem to find the time. It runs away so quickly. There is so much to do and so little time to do it in. I have no doubt that I am very creative, it's in the implementation that I fall down because I become so confused with all the ideas at times. Yes, I know.... another bipolar trait, but isn't it fun and frustrating at the same time. Perhaps more frustrating than fun. I would love to give someone my ideas and let them come back with the finished product a week later. That would leave me free to come up with more. I know many of them will work. The time I spend here online, I see what people want. I see what is missing, but sometimes I don't have the answers to fill in the puzzle either. No doubt the answers are out there, but some research is required. That's time I haven't got unless I depart from my existing direction. I don't believe that would be wise at this stage.

Well.... onwards and upwards I suppose.

Mood rating at time of post - 6

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-24T22:26:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

How's this then? Early for a change. I've only just got back from a meeting and I've been checking my emails and working on submitting more articles to some directories.

I had a bit of a worrying morning. Let me explain. Since beginning to take Lithium, I have noticed that my hands shake at times. This particularly happens when I am eating and there is some hand to mouth co-ordination involved. Even worse when it's soup. Well this morning I started shaking all over for a brief period of time. It passed so I didn't worry about it too much, but I suppose it's not a good sign. What bothers me is that since being on Lithium, my moods have stabilised a lot more than what they were. I was depressed far to often. I suppose it may well end up a change of med mix again. Well, that's life for a bipolar I suppose.

I was up until nearly 1am last night, but slept through till 9am, so I still had a solid 8 hours sleep. I was tired all day though and nearly falling asleep. I finally gave in at 3pm and had a nap until 4pm. Problem now of course is that I'm wide awake and I want to go to bed and sleep. I may take one of those little sleep helpers that I have on hand for such occasions.

Hope you are all well.

Mood rating at time of post - 4

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-24T00:25:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Well I thought I would squeeze this in before I went to bed. Bit of a late one tonight as I have been rather busy.

I had a good sleep last night of around 10 hours without interruption. Indeed, my dear wife said I didn't even snore!

I achieved everything I set out to do today and that made me quite pleased. I got distracted on a few occasions, but nothing serious. Usually I can find myself starting a task online and ending up on seventy eight different web sites as a result of following one link. Today I had a little more self discipline and finished my work. I reviewed an ebook, created some link files, read a forum I am supposed to look at every day and sent a comprehensive email to my opt in list after reviewing and editing some files I was offering to them as a bonus. This all resulted in one sale for a very small amount, but still, it was another sale. Sooner or later I will crack the secret formula for making a $100 a day online and I will be a happy man. Until then, I shall perservere in the quest for knowledge.

Have you read the "Celestine Prophecy"? If not, I highly recommend it. In the book, it talks about how everything happens for a reason even though you may not know it at the time. (Bit like being diagnosed bipolar I suppose!). Anyway, my wife and I went for a walk tonight through the bush and this kitten comes out of the long grass and starts following us. I went back to it to see if it was a feral, but no, it just craved affection and strutted around my ankles.

Now I am not one for cats. We have a lot of wild birds here on our property that come in to feed and birds and cats don't go together. Anyway, we walked for about 1.5 kilometres and this cat followed us all the way! Then when we turned around and headed back home it still stuck with us. We thought it might belong to neighbours, but they denied it, so we end up being stuck with the cat. Of course we could take it to the pound tomorrow, but we know what that means. No-one claims cats. So tonight it has been wandering around the house and particularly following me. Even when I was trying to work here it was walking over the keyboard and then sitting on my stomach. It's just so affectionate.

So what does this have to do with the "Celestine Prophecy"? Well who knows, but it seems we have a cat that we didn't want, but don't have the heart to get rid of. You've got to be soft if you're a bipolar or perhaps a bipolar if you're soft....LOL.

Mood rating at time of post - 7

All the best.

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-22T22:29:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Been a rather hectic and busy day. I ended up doing work on a site that I had no intentions of working on, but someone requested it be done, so I did it. It put me a fair bit behind on other projects. Still, I've come to expect and accept that life as a bipolar involves considerable disorganisation and erratic behaviour with work projects.

I started out this morning with all good intentions or reading an ebook, reviewing some online movies I was going to send out to a heap of people if they were any good and ended up not completing those tasks at all. I absolutely MUST get them done tomorrow.

I have worked pretty steadily all day, but feeling very tired. I had a power nap at around 4pm, but only for 10 minutes. I still feel tired, but don't think I'll sleep. On top of that I'm feeling very flat as well.

Oh well, perhaps tomorrow will bring an exciting hypomanic episode. I always look forward to those with relish. Don't we all?

Mood rating at time of post - 2.5

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-21T23:41:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but sometimes it's hard for me to get online on the weekends because my darling wife tries to keep me off the computer and that's fair enough.

Friday night was a big night's sleep with me sleeping 10 hours straight through from 12 midnight to 10 the next morning. I just couldn't wake up. Any other day I'm awake much earlier, but for some reason I find that Saturday's I really sleep in. No complaints though. Still, I was tired all day and felt like a snooze around 2pm. I didn't do it though and stayed awake and eventually went to bed at 11pm. Slept right through again until about 6.30am.

I worked out in the paddock today putting in some fence posts and again stayed offline. I'm sure I do need a break now and again from it all. My back is stuffed again, which is normal, but that's OK because I know it will be all right tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have a heap of work lined up. I haven't approved any articles on my article sites all weekend, so they will be there waiting. I have to review a few videos before sending them out to all my authors and I also have an ebook to study about affiliate marketing. Such is the life of a bipolar who is absolutely determined to make a living in internet marketing.

All the best,

Mood rating at time of post -4

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-19T09:46:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

I tried to post before going to bed last night, but Blogger just wouldn't come up online. Sometimes it can be very slow to connect and it gets quite frustrating.

Yesterday was a pretty low day. Mood rating of around 2 for most of the day actually. You know, I looked in all my desk drawers and even did a search on Google, but I just couldn't find my motivation anywhere. I got a few bits and pieces done, but overall I wasn't terribly productive.

Today is somewhat different however. I have purchased a new little programme, (it was a steal at $2.75 when everywhere else on the net it is $37), so I'll be having a play with that today combined with some software I purchased yesterday. The two will complement each other very well in building adsense ready web sites. I have a domain name ready to go that I haven't used as yet but want to get up and running. I'm learning, or should I say that I have finally realised, that this making money on the internet is a numbers game. The more sites and pages you have the more traffic you attract which will in turn generate income. Mind you, the content of the sites still has to be of a quality nature. I'm keen to get a specific bipolar site on line and have a domain for that already registered. I am still working on the principle of "Rome wasn't built in a day" which is a far cry from a month ago when I was going to build it in an hour!

Well I think that will do for now. I'll try and post again later on this evening.

Regards,

Mood rating at time of post - 4

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-17T22:27:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

I had a good sleep last night and woke around 6.30 am. I've felt pretty good all day generally, but still found it hard to get going. The "zip" has gone at the moment, but perhaps that's not a bad thing. I still managed to achieve quite a lot really and sent out a lot of emails about articles etc. Traffic is building on the sites, but not income. Still, I believe that will come in time. Rome wasn't built in a day was it? Unless of course you are in a bipolar hypomanic type state as I was a few weeks ago and expected it to be the case. Fortunately I have now settled down a bit and doing things as I can do them.

I got really tired at 2pm this afternoon and seriously considered having a snooze, but I kept going and worked my way through it. Now however I am buggered and will just have to go to bed. I've got a lot of other things I need to do on here, but they will just have to wait.

Mood rating at time of post - 4

Kind regards to all,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-16T14:26:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Yesterday was one of those "not so good" days but weird at the same time. I woke with absolutely no interest in doing any work on the computer. Now that is weird! I just had no motivation and I was feeling very low.

Fortunately it was one of those perfect Autumn days. A cloudless sky and pleasant temperature so I set about finishing off a job I had commenced on the weekend installing some guttering on the chook shed. I just pottered around for the day and didn't rush and got the whole thing completed. I was quite pleased with myself actually. I found that my mood fluctuated during the day though and it was quite noticeable. I was swinging between a 2 and a 6.

I even got motivated enough to light a fire and cook some roast pork in the camp oven. It's one of my favourite past times, sitting in front of a fire, but getting going is sometimes difficult. You have to organise all the wood and then prepare all the food for cooking. It's a big job, but once that oven is sizzling on the coals and you can smell the roast, it seems all worthwhile.

I can't remember what my sleeping hours were yesterday, but last night was terrible. I woke up at 4 am, had a coffee and a smoke and then went back to bed. Then I was woken by the phone at 8.20 am and had to get up because someone was coming around to pick something up. I then went back to bed however and slept right through till 11 am. Altogether some 10.5 hours of sleep.

I'm still feeling low today, but I have been doing some work on the computer. The motivation and enthusism is considerably lacking however. Fortunately, reviewing articles for approval on my article sites does not require a great deal of application. In fact, it is boring and mundane. Nonetheless, it must be done if I want the directories to grow.

So back to it.

Mood rating at time of post - 2

Take care all,

Benefits Of A Home Business For People That Have Bipolar Disorder

2006-05-14T23:09:00.000+10:00

This is an article that I found online. I think that a home business is an excellent idea for many people with bipolar disorder. It means they can work their own hours and not necessarily be subjected to the same pressures that exist in a regulated work place.

My own personal experience is that with erratic sleep patterns, working from home in my own time and with my own hours suits me perfectly. Any, here's what Nora has to say.

Benefits Of A Home Business For People That Have Bipolar Disorder

By Nora Caterino

The challenges of managing and coping with Bipolar Disorder can be difficult at times. I find that having a reason to get out of bed and be productive helps me significantly in managing my own battle with this mental disorder. Of course, this doesn't replace the need for me to carefully follow the treatment and medication plan prescribed by my mental health care professionals. But it does add to my life in many ways.

How does having a home business benefit me and how can it benefit you? There are so many different benefits but I'll share a few that I have learned from personal experience.

Sense of Self-worth: It is so easy for a person, like me, that has this disorder, to begin to feel useless and hopeless. My home business provides me with a sense that I am of value and raises my sense of self-esteem.

Income: By earning money, I feel better about myself and am able to provide for my needs. I have to pay for doctor's appointments and some medications. I can do this with my small income. Of course, you might begin a business that brings a large income, but having earnings that result from your own efforts provide personal, emotional and spiritual satisfaction that helps me avoid episodes. Even if you are on disability, you can earn some money without losing your benefits and the joy of doing something you enjoy that brings in cash-flow is wonderful.

Focus and Purpose: By having found and built a home business that allows me to do work I find meaningful lets me feel I have a purpose in life and a focus for my time. I have a reason to get out of bed, encouragement if I'm feeling a bit down and away to focus my energy. Because I write and much of my writing is about things that help other people, I feel I have a purpose or calling that gives me a reason to maintain proper management of my Bipolar Disorder so I can continue fulfilling my purpose in life.

Flexibility of Schedule: Just as any other person with Bipolar Disorder, I have to attend counseling sessions, psychiatrist's appointments as well as the day-to-day business of living life that everyone faces. I help care for my elderly mother and attend her medical appointments too. My home-based business lets me work the hours I need that few, if any, traditional jobs outside the home would permit. If I am experiencing stressors that might cause an episode, I can take a few hours in my day to focus on managing my stress and my mental health to prevent an episode. I can work any hours of the day or night that are best for me. Everyone I know that has a home business loves this part of the job.

Low Cost of Job-related Expenses: I do not have to commute to a job. I do not have to purchase an expensive professional wardrobe or pay for lunches during the workday at restaurants. By working at home, I can dress comfortably, avoid going out in the rain, cold or snow, eat a more nutritious diet at less cost, and take an exercise break when I feel I need one. With the high cost of gasoline, just the savings of not having to commute is a great benefit. You, too, can enjoy these benefits of a home-based business.

A Sense of Control: I find that having a disorder that can not be cured, namely Bipolar Disorder, can sometimes make me feel as if my life is not in my control. By having my own business at home, I feel I have more control over my life and the management of my disorder. You can have this control over your life as well.

Low Start-Up and Operating Cost: Many people want to own a business but can't afford to open a store-front business or start a business that requires maintaining an investment in inventory. Most home businesses can be started with a very small investment and some require no investment at all. I was able to begin my business by investing about $100 because I already owned a computer and Internet connection. Operating costs, due to the lack of high overhead expenditures, are very low when you own a home business.

Be There for Family: I help care for my elderly mother. I can be there for her everyday, all day long on most days. If she needs me to lift something too heavy for her, I can stop and take care of this. If she or I need to talk to each other, we are there for that interaction. Lots of people who have children have high daycare costs when, instead, they could be working from home and have no daycare expenses. Moms or dads can be there when the children come home from school. The family can act as a more cohesive unit without having 'latchkey kids'.

Control of Income: Many jobs outside the home don't really reward you in direct proportion to the effort you put out. They pay a flat rate, either by the hour or a specific salary. With a home business, once you get going your income is determined by how much effort you put into your work. If you only need to make a small income, you can work part-time. If you work really hard and put in full-time hours, you can learn more. In other words, your efforts directly result in the amount of your income, placing you in control.

Pride of Ownership: A business owner is proud of their business. Just ask anyone that owns and operates a home business or any other type of business. I am proud of my business and love seeing my work appear in various publications and on the Internet. This sense of pride gives me motivation to continue managing my disorder so I can continue the work I love.

In closing, let me share that I never thought of myself as a person that would own their own business. Today, by enjoying the benefits of my own home based business, I can manage my Bipolar Disorder much more effectively. Starting a business doesn't replace psychiatric treatment and medication. It does, however, add to the overall quality of my life.

I recommend that anyone dealing with Bipolar Disorder discuss with their health care team the benefits of having their own home-based business. If your doctor feels you are stable enough, look at the many options for home businesses and select one that fits your interests and that you can feel passionate about and get going.

There are thousands of options for home businesses. Think about the things you love or have an interest in or knowledge about and look for business opportunities that include these interests. Some home businesses involve sales and promotions but many do not require any type of sales work whatsoever. So, look for the right home business for you and begin to reap the benefits of your own home-based business.

About The Author

Nora Caterino is a contributing author for www.BipolarCentral.com.

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-14T22:48:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Yes, I know I didn't post yesterday, but really it was beyond my control. I simply fell asleep on the couch at around 8 pm and that was me for several hours. My wife got me up and I went to bed assuming that I would sleep for two hours and then be up again, but no, not this time. I slept until 12.30 am. I got up, made a cup of coffee and checked my emails, but I was just too tired to post so I went back to bed and slept until 5.30 am. I got up again, did some work and then went back to bed again at 8 am and slept till after 10 am. Again I got up and then went outside to do some work on some guttering and other odd jobs. My back was so sore that I had to stop and I was also feeling very tired again. So after a hot shower to alleviate the back pain a little, I was back in bed for a snooze at around 2.30 pm.

What a night and day of sleep and tiredness! What is that...... around 12 hours sleep altogether for the night and day. Bipolar sleep patterns, you just can't beat them can you. You think you've got it all together and then have a period like that. Why does one get so tired? I've no idea, but it really drives me mad at times. I have so much to do and I really get annoyed with myself for taking so much time out of the day.

And that's about me for the night too. Off to bed again I think for some more snooze time. I just hope tonight that it's a full sleep through and that I will bright eyed and bushy tailed for a full days slog tomorrow.

Take care all,

Mood rating at time of post - 4

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-12T23:49:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Well I think I've snuck in just before the bewitching hour, but I suppose I need to get the post finished before then too so it's legitimate.

I've had a very productive day. I finished a web site I've wanted to get to for ages and now it is ready for official launch. I also wrote an article in support of the site which I intend to distribute far and wide to get people posting on the site. Hopefully it will all work out in the long run. I am investing huge amounts of time in this at the moment, but I do believe it will work out in the end.

It's one of the things about the internet, well not just the internet I suppose, but things do not happen overnight. I used to say, and still do, that it takes 5 years to become an overnight success.

Sadly for the sensationalists amongst you I have nothing bizarre to report. No manic bipolar behaviour like running down the street naked or a major fit of depression. Quite good actually, but I think it's because my mind is so active.

Well, I'll close now so this is in before midnight and head off to bed. I am actually very tired.

Take care all,

Mood rating at time of post - 6

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-12T00:37:00.000+10:00

Oh dear, I'm late again I suspect, but I have been very busy. So what's new? I had to get my darling wife's netball club books up to date for her and then I went to work on my new site that I am setting up. That has been a bit frustrating, but I'll get there.

I've really been quite settled this week and today was no different. I had a bit of fun today because I had to go to the local school and play "grandparent" for one of our friend's kids. Their own grandparents were unable to attend. One of the things that was really funny was that I had to be interviewed by my "special friend" about my time at school. I couldn't remember most of it, a sure sign of age no doubt or bipolar medication. I know that makes you forgetful.

One of the questions he asked was about the punishment we got at school and I told him about the pencils across the knuckles, the ruler in the same place, the cane or feather duster on the backside and then capped it off of course with the leather strap. These kids today don't know they're alive!!

I also had to tell about the times I got in trouble at school. Well there was the time I got caught smoking.... on more than one occasion and then the other big one of letting off stink bombs. I must admit I had a little laugh to myself remembering these things.

Overall I'm feeling pretty great at the moment and I hope you are too.

Take care,

Mood rating - 7

Kindest regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-10T23:13:00.000+10:00

You wouldn't believe how long it has taken me to post here tonight. I've got updates coming down from Microsoft that you can't stop and I had another download going in the background as well that I had to stop in order for this posting page to come up. Never mind, I'm here at last.

Today has been quite a relaxed day. I feel as if I'm all up to date with everything and yet I know that I have heaps of work to do. Nonetheless, I also know it can be done tomorrow which is a bit different to my behaviour of late where everything had to be done today.

I was really tired this morning and had to have a snooze around 10.30am. I really think this Seroquel knocks me around a bit at times, even though it is such a small dose. That only lasted 15 minutes though because the phone rang. Sometimes power naps seem to work though and I was right from then on.

I think I mentioned my psychiatrist had given me a book to read on bipolar disorder. Well I didn't get a chance to read it all yet. Just a few pages, but in those pages what really annoyed me was how they referred to it as bipolar disorder, I need to repeat that, bipolar disorder and then in all the paragraphs they refer to it as an illness. Now you can't have it both ways. It's either a disorder or an illnes. As far as I'm concerned, an illness is something you recover from but a disorder is something that you may not. In the case of bipolar disorder, there is no recovery because it's a chronic disorder.

I may have said this before, but I'll say it again anyway because it's relevant to the post. In my humble opinion, which is not so humble a lot of the time, none of us suffer from a mental illness. Mental is "of the mind" and the mind is something you can't see, feel, touch, smell or hear. It's totally intangible. So that being the case, how can you treat an intangible object with physical drugs? It just isn't possible. Therefore, what we have is a neurological disorder. Perhaps I'll win a Nobel Prize for my insight....what do you think? If I do, I bet it will be when I'm dead so I can't spend the money anyway.

My next "bitch" tonight is about the book as well. It's got stuff in it, (well my wife tells me so) about the need for exercise and also about drinking alchohol. Now I think everyone knows that exercise is good for you and it's also good not to drink or smoke or take drugs etc. BUT!!! I hate exercise. I always have. I'm just not that sort of person. The world is made up of all sorts of people and a lot of them don't enjoy spending an hour pumping weights, riding bikes, walking, jogging or all that sort of stuff. Why is it that as soon as you are diagnosed as bipolar some idiot says "you'll have to change your lifestyle". Well I don't want to and I'm not going to. I also enjoy a drink. I don't end up rolling on the floor every night and crawling to bed, that's not what I mean. But is one expected to become some sort of bloody puritan because they are diagnosed bipolar?

Let's look at my made up stats. If I was to do an hours exercise a day, I would live an extra hour at the end of my life. Well I don't want to! Why the hell would I want to spend an hour a day doing something that is totally boring so I can live another totally boring hour at the end of my life. I would much prefer to spend my time and my life doing what I enjoy doing.

I had a mate who died at 39 years of age while he was crayfishing on the Murray River. His family on the male side had all died before 42 from heart attacks and he used to always say to me that he was here for a good time and not for a long time. Those very words appear on his headstone.

Well I've had a big rant and rave tonight, so I'll head off. Hope you are all wonderful.

Kind regards,

Mood rating at time of post - 7

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-09T11:43:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Yes, I know, I didn't post yesterday did I. Well I got really tired and just had to go to bed. Perhaps I shouldn't leave it till last thing at night to post and things might be a bit better.

A bit of a carry over from Sunday's post though. I went to bed, tossed and turned for an hour and then had to get back up again. Just hopeless. I ended up taking a sleeping pill to send me under because my mind was just racing with ideas. Mmmm..... perhaps at a bipolar conference they could have bipolar grand prix, but not for cars, for racing minds!

Anyway, yesterday I went to see my psychiatrist. He really is a top bloke and wonderful psychiatrist. I have to say that because after I finish this I have to send him the address of this blog so he can read the article that I posted a few days ago. But really, he is a top bloke and he has stood by me through thick and thin. Thanks G!

What is it, yes, 11.46am and I am really, really tired. I might have a snooze. Seems this is part of a pattern on several days. I am really tired in the morning. Other times I'll crash in the chair at 8pm, sleep for 2 hours and then be up an at 'em again.

Hope you are all travelling well. Don't forget to say hello if you wish. You're more than welcome.

Mood rating at time of post - 4 and bloody tired.

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-07T23:16:00.000+10:00

Well here we are at the end of the weekend. My posts have been a bit disoriented because they have been after midnight, but tonight I am more on schedule.

It's been a good weekend and I have been far more relaxed. I go to see the psychiatrist tomorrow for the usual bipolar checkup. This is the time you try and remember all your mood swings, ratings, ups and downs and everything else that has happened in the last 4 or 6 weeks and squeeze it all into half an hour. Don't know about you, but I usually talk about how I'm feeling that day because my mood swings seem to vanish. If I'm up I'm up and if I'm down I'm down, but don't ask me to explain how I felt last week because I just can't do it. Anyway, my wonderful new bipolar blog should help and he can read it if he chooses to do so.

Well that's it for tonight. Off to bed for an early one.

Regards to all,

Mood rating at time of post - 6

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-06T00:08:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Well I was just about to head off to bed. I took all my tablets, went outside for a smoke and then realised that I hadn't posted. So out of guilt and shame I headed back here to make a few notes so that I am keeping my promise to myself.

Today has been a pretty good day, but at the same time confusing. I have been very relaxed. Moreso than over the last month or so. I didn't get all agitated about anything, in fact I went through my inbox for my email and answered all the ones I needed to, some of which had been outstanding for sometime. I also put a lot of other emails into directories so they are nicely organised and ended up with no vertical scroll bar on my inbox for the first time in ages. I also disconnected from the internet and took some time outside doing a few jobs.

Tonight, I spent time with my darling wife watching the football and having a few wines. We started doing that out on the verandah early and watching the sunset. I felt no need to get back on here and do work which was really great.

During the day, I have thought about how I have been feeling and I think I've probably been in some mixed states. Obsessed, compulsive and frantic with work and at the same time feeling somewhat different. Today I felt relaxed for the first time in ages and I don't know what brought it on, but it was a good feeling thinking that it doesn't matter if I don't get everything done today or tomorrow, I will still get it done.

Take care all,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-05T00:11:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Work continues here at the salt mines at a flat out rate. My inbox is full and I am way behind on certain projects, but I am feeling a lot more comfortable about it all at the moment. I think that today was one of those days where I just accepted the fact that I am only human and can only do so much.

I was so tired that I was in bed by around 8pm, but of course woke up again around 10.30pm. On top of that I was starving and had to have some food. I often get like that, even though I've had tea. I've read somewhere that Lithium can have that affect on you.

I purchased a software programme the other day which was all about making money using Adsense ads, you know those little ads from Google in the right hand column here. Well, once you bought the programme, you could also become an affiliate so if you sold any you got a 50% commission. I sent an email out to all those on my author list at Best Content Articles and the next thing you know I've got a sale. I think it was the first time I've ever sold anything online. I was quite excited, because this is what I want to do. I want to work at home making money online. Not a fortune, as I've said before, just enough to get by on. Anyway, I told my wife and she growled at me for buying the product. She said I am gullible to which I replied that there was pictorial evidence online that the person selling the course was making over $200,000 a year using the methods contained in the programme. So, maybe I am gullible. Maybe he is a liar, but the internet for all its size doesn't take long to bring down the crooks. Anyway, the bottom line is that I ended up selling four copies of the programme in total, so I have effectively made 100% profit on my investment. Finally, I am an internet marketer!!!

Mood rating at time of post - Too tired to say
Mood rating during day - 7

Regards,

The Latest Mania: Selling Bipolar Disorder

2006-05-03T14:43:00.000+10:00

I picked up this article today as a result of a mate referring it to me. It is quite controversial in many ways, but of course I have an implicit trust in pharmaceutical companies (NOT).

The Latest Mania: Selling Bipolar Disorder

David Healy

David Healy is at the North Wales Department of Psychological Medicine, Cardiff University, Cardiff, Wales, United Kingdom. E-mail: healy_hergest@compuserve.com

Funding: The author received no specific funding to write this article.

Competing Interests: DH has been a speaker, consultant, or clinical trialist for Lilly, Janssen, SmithKline Beecham, Pfizer, Astra-Zeneca, Lorex-Synthelabo, Lundbeck, Organon, Pierre-Fabre, Roche, and Sanofi. He has also been an expert witness in ten legal cases involving antidepressants and suicide or homicide and one case involving the patent on olanzapine (Zyprexa). None of these interests played any part in the submission or preparation of this paper.

Published: April 11, 2006

DOI: 10.1371/journal.pmed.0030185

Copyright: © 2006 David Healy. This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author and source are credited.

Citation: Healy D (2006) The Latest Mania: Selling Bipolar Disorder. PLoS Med 3(4): e185

One of the most famous direct-to-consumer television adverts for a drug begins with a vibrant woman dancing late into the night. A background voice says, “Your doctor probably never sees you when you feel like this.” The advert cuts to a shrunken and glum figure, and the voiceover now says, “This is who your doctor usually sees.” Cutting again to the woman, in active shopping mode, clutching bags with the latest brand names, we hear: “That's why so many people with bipolar disorder are being treated for depression and not getting any better—because depression is only half the story.” We see the woman again depressed, looking at bills that have arrived in the post before switching to seeing her again energetically painting her apartment. “That fast- talking, energetic, quick tempered, overdoing it, up-all-night you,” says the voiceover, “probably never shows up at the doctor's office, right?”

No drugs are mentioned. But viewers are encouraged to log onto www.bipolarawareness.com, which takes them to a Web site called “Bipolar Help Center,” sponsored by Lilly Pharmaceuticals, the makers of olanzapine (Zyprexa). The Web site contains a “mood disorder questionnaire” (http://www.bipolarhelpcenter.com/resources/mdq.jsp). In the television advert, we see our heroine logging onto www.bipolarawareness.com and finding this questionnaire. The voice encourages the viewer to follow her example: “Take the test you can take to your doctor, it can change your life….getting a correct diagnosis is the first step in treating bipolar disorder. Help your doctor to help you.”

This advert markets bipolar disorder. The advert can be read as a genuine attempt to alert people who may be suffering from one of the most debilitating and serious psychiatric diseases—manic-depressive illness. Alternatively, the advert can be read as an example of what has been termed disease mongering [1]. Whichever it is, it will reach beyond those suffering from a mood disorder to others who will as a consequence be more likely to see aspects of their personal experiences in a new way that will lead to medical consultations and in a way that will shape the outcome of those consultations. Adverts that encourage “mood watching” risk transforming variations from an emotional even keel into potential indicators of latent or actual bipolar disorder. This advert appeared in 2002 shortly after Lilly's antipsychotic olanzapine had received a license for treating mania. The company was also running trials aimed at establishing olanzapine as a “mood stabilizer,” one of which was recently published [2].

Mood Stabilization

From the 1950s on, the depressions of manic-depressive illness have been treated with antidepressants and the manias with antipsychotics or lithium. Lithium was the only agent thought to be prophylactic against further episodes of manic-depressive illness [3]. But lithium was not originally referred to as a mood stabilizer. The term “mood stabilizer” had barely been heard of before 1995 when Abbott Laboratories got a license for using the anticonvulsant sodium valproate (Depakote) for treating acute mania [4].

After 1995, there was a dramatic growth in the frequency with which the term “mood stabilizer” appeared in the title of scientific articles (see Figure 1). By 2001, more than a hundred article titles a year featured this term. Repeated reviews make it clear that the academic psychiatric community still has not come to a consensus on what the term “mood stabilizer” means [5–7]. But this lack of consensus did not get in the way of the message that patients with bipolar disorders needed to be detected and once detected needed mood stabilizers, and perhaps should only be given these drugs and not any other psychotropic drugs [8,9].

Figure 1. Articles Elicited by Medline Using the Mesh Term “Mood Stabilizer”

The growth of awareness of mood stabilization was sensational.

The first group of drugs to colonize this new mood stabilizer niche was anticonvulsants. Anticonvulsants are beneficial in epilepsy and were until recently widely thought to be beneficial by quenching the increased risk of succeeding epileptic fits brought about by fits that have gone before. Robert Post in the 1980s suggested that anticonvulsants might stabilize moods by a comparable quenching of the kindling effect of an episode of mood disorders on the risk of further episodes [10]. It was this idea that provided a pharmacological rationale for treatment of bipolar disorders that was so attractive to pharmaceutical companies, and, in their hands, the growth of awareness of mood stabilization and of bipolar disorders was sensational.

Bipolar disorders entered the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in 1980. At the time, the criteria for bipolar I disorder (classic manic-depressive illness) involved an episode of hospitalization for mania. Since then, the community-based disorders bipolar II disorder, bipolar disorders NOS (not otherwise specified), and cyclothymia have emerged. With their emergence, estimates for the prevalence of bipolar disorders have risen from 0.1% of the population having bipolar I disorder (involving an episode of hospitalization for mania) [11] to 5% or more when the definition of bipolar disorders includes the aforementioned community disorders [12]. A range of academic institutions has also grown more interested in the condition.

There has always been a rationale to using antipsychotics in bipolar disorders, as they are effective in acute manic states [13,14]. However, no companies making antipsychotics had previously sought a license for prophylaxis against bipolar disorders. Against a background of epidemiological studies indicating that the prevalence of bipolar disorders might be greater than previously thought [15,16], and growing academic interest in the condition, Lilly, Janssen, and Astra-Zeneca, the makers of the antipsychotics olanzapine, risperidone, and quetiapine (Seroquel), respectively, marched in on the new territory to market these drugs for prophylaxis of bipolar disorder. This, in turn, greatly expanded the number of companies with an interest in making the “bipolar market.” There was, however, no consensus on a theoretical rationale that would lead the average clinician to think these three drugs might “quench” the propensity to further affective episodes, as opposed to simply assist in the management of acute manic states.

But the increased prevalence estimates were based on community surveys that had no clear disability criterion, while acute treatment trials of antipsychotics for mania, and prophylactic trials of lithium for manic-depressive illness, have for the most part been conducted on bipolar I disorder. This necessarily raises the prospect that increased efforts to detect and to treat people risks crossing the line where the benefits of treatment outweigh its risks.

Along with this expansion in prevalence estimates came new journals, Bipolar Disorders (http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/journal.asp?ref=1398-5647) and the Journal of Bipolar Disorders (published by Lippincott, Williams, and Wilkins), a slew of bipolar societies, and annual conferences, many heavily funded by pharmaceutical companies. There is a growing amount of patient Web site and patient support materials that in the case of Zyprexa state that “bipolar disorder is often a lifelong illness needing lifelong treatment; symptoms come and go, but the illness stays; people feel better because the medication is working; almost everyone who stops taking the medication will get ill again and the more episodes you have, the more difficult they are to treat” [17]. Information available from Janssen (the makers of Risperdal) states “medicines are crucially important in the treatment of bipolar disorders. Studies over the past twenty years have shown beyond the shadow of doubt that people who receive the appropriate drugs are better off in the long term than those who receive no medicine” [18].

What Lies Beneath

There is, however, much less evidence than many might think to support these claims for the prophylactic drug treatment of manic-depressive illness (bipolar I). And there is almost no evidence to support such claims in the case of whatever community disorders (bipolar II, bipolar NOS, cyclothymia) are now being pulled into the manic-depressive net by the lure of bipolar disorder.

With the possible exception of lithium for bipolar I disorder, there are no randomized controlled trials to show that patients with bipolar disorders in general who receive psychotropic drugs are better in the long term than those who receive no medicine [19]. This may stem in part from difficulties in conducting trials on psychotropic drugs that last more than a few weeks in conditions as complex as manic-depressive illness. One short-term, randomized, placebo-controlled trial (in which patients were only followed for up to 48 weeks) that some see as a basis for claiming that olanzapine may be prophylactic in bipolar disorder [2] has been regarded by others as indicating that this drug produces a withdrawal-induced decompensation when stopped [20]. Even in the case of lithium, there is some dispute over what has been demonstrated [19], with the best evidence stemming from large open studies in dedicated lithium services rather than from randomized trials [21].

This evidence of benefit for one agent (lithium) and possible benefit for one more (olanzapine) must be weighed against two harms associated with use of antipsychotics: (1) a consistent body of evidence indicates that regular treatment with antipsychotics in the longer run increases mortality [22–26]; and (2) there is evidence that in placebo-controlled trials of antipsychotics submitted in application for schizophrenia licenses there is a statistically significant excess of completed suicides on active treatment [27]. A range of problems associated with antipsychotics, from increased mortality to tardive dyskinesia, never show up in the short-term trials aimed at demonstrating treatment effects in psychiatry.

But aside from these hazards, there are also grounds to question whether the treatment effects that some think have been demonstrated in bipolar disorder trials translate into therapeutic efficacy. If use of these agents based on demonstrated effects leads on to efficacy, admissions for bipolar disorder might be expected to fall, but the evidence for this is difficult to find. In North Wales before the advent of modern pharmacotherapy, patients with bipolar I disorder had on average four admissions every ten years. In contrast, against a background of a constant incidence of bipolar I disorder, and dramatic improvements in service provision, bipolar I patients show a 4-fold increase in the prevalence of admissions despite being treated with the very latest psychotropic medications [11]. This is not ordinarily what happens when treatments “work,” but quite often is what happens when treatments have effects.

The selling of bipolar disorder stresses that the disorder takes a fearsome toll of suicides. And indeed the controversy surrounding the provocation of suicide by antidepressants has been recast by some as a consequence of mistaken diagnosis. If the treating physician had only realized the patient was bipolar, they would not have mistakenly prescribed an antidepressant. Because of the suicide risk traditionally linked to patients with bipolar disorders who needed hospitalisation, most psychiatrists would find it difficult to leave any person with a case of bipolar disorder unmedicated. Yet, the best available evidence shows that unmedicated patients with bipolar disorder do not have a higher risk of suicide.

Storosum and colleagues analyzed all placebo-controlled, double-blind, randomized trials of mood stabilizers for the prevention of manic/depressive episode that were part of a registration dossier submitted to the regulatory authority of the Netherlands, the Medicines Evaluation Board, between 1997 and 2003 [28]. They found four such prophylaxis trials. They compared suicide risk in patients on placebo compared with patients on active medication. Two suicides (493/100,000 person- years of exposure) and eight suicide attempts (1,969/100,000 person-years of exposure) occurred in the group given an active drug (943 patients), but no suicides and two suicide attempts (1,467/100,000 person-years of exposure) occurred in the placebo group (418 patients). Based on these absolute numbers from these four trials, I have calculated (see Figure S1 showing calculation, and see Figure 2) that active agents are most likely to be associated with a 2.22 times greater risk of suicidal acts than placebo (95% CI 0.5, 10.00).

Figure 2. Author's Graph of p-Value Function Based on Data in [30]

(Illustration: Sapna Khandwala)

The Bipolar Future

Until recently the general clinical wisdom was that it was very rare for manic-depressive illness to have an onset in the preteen years. But there is now a surge of diagnoses of bipolar disorder in American children [29,30], even though these children do not meet the traditional criteria for bipolar I disorder (from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) [31]. The mania for pediatric bipolar disorder hit the front cover of the American edition of Time in August 2002, which featured nine-year-old Ian Palmer and a cover title Young and Bipolar, with a strapline, why are so many kids being diagnosed with the disorder, once known as manic-depression?

A recent book, The Bipolar Child [32], brings out the extent of the current mania. Published in 2000, this book sold 70,000 hardback copies in six months in the US. As the Star Telegram reported in July 2000 [33], The Bipolar Child made all the difference to Heather Norris, whose mother, after reading it, challenged her physician to correct Heather's diagnosis from ADHD, treatment of which had made her daughter worse, to the correct diagnosis of bipolar disorder. As a result, Heather, at the age of two, became the youngest child in Tarrant County, Texas, to have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. The Star Telegram article noted that “along with the insurance woes, lack of treatment options and weak support systems that plague most families with mentally ill children, parents of the very young face additional challenges. Finding the proper diagnosis for treatment is a nightmare because of scant research into childhood mental illness and the drugs that combat them.”

If we consider adults alone for a moment, there is already the potential for creating an “epidemic” of bipolar disorder, because people are being diagnosed with the condition based on operational criteria that depend upon subjective judgements (rather than an objective criterion of disability, such as hospitalization or being off work for a month). The potential is compounded in the pediatric domain by the fact that the diagnosis is based on caregiver reports with little scope in most clinical practice for critical scrutiny of the social forces that may lead to these reports. Experts that appear willing to go so far as to accept the possibility that the first signs of bipolar disorder may be patterns of overactivity in utero [32] can only further compound these problems. If the resulting diagnoses were provisional, aimed at researching the natural history of childhood irritability, rather than reaching diagnoses that lead on to pharmacotherapy, there might be little problem. However, drugs such as Zyprexa and Risperdal are now being used for preschoolers in America with little questioning of this development [31].

Far from research bringing a skeptical note to bear on clinical enthusiasm, it appears to be adding fuel to the fire. What might once have been thought of as sober institutions, such as Massachusetts General Hospital, have run trials of Risperdal and Zyprexa on children with a mean age of four years old [34,35]. Massachusetts General Hospital in fact recruited trial participants by running its own television adverts featuring clinicians and parents alerting parents to the fact that difficult and aggressive behavior in children aged four and up might stem from bipolar disorder. This does more than recruit patients with a clear disorder; it suggests that everyday behavioral difficulties may be better seen in terms of a disorder. Given that bipolar disorder in children is all but unrecognised outside the US, it seems likely that a significant proportion of these children will not meet conventional DSM criteria for bipolar I disorder. And given that it is all but impossible for a short-term trial of sedative agents in pediatric states characterized by overactivity not to show some rating scale changes that can be regarded as beneficial, the outcomes of this research are likely to appear to validate the diagnosis and increase the pressure for treatment.

Several years after Heather Norris was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, the rationale for mood stabilization was greatly weakened by the results of the largest-ever randomized trial of immediate versus deferred anticonvulsant therapy for people who had experienced a single seizure [36]. The trial found that although immediate antiepileptic drug treatment reduces the occurrence of seizures in the next 1–2 years, such treatment does not affect long-term remission in individuals with single or infrequent seizures. The use of psychotropic medication for bipolar disorders was based on an analogy with epilepsy, rather than on demonstrations of proven clinical benefits over the long term or on the basis of a correction of a known pathophysiology. The absence of a solid theoretical or empirical basis for using psychotropic medication as “mood stabilizers” raises questions as to what lies in store for the Heather Norris's and others of this world exposed to these complex psychotropic agents from such a young age.

Supporting Information

Figure S1. Episheet Showing Author's Relative Risk Calculation, Based on Data in [30]

(792 KB XLS).

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Harris J (2005) The increased diagnosis of juvenile “bipolar disorder,” what are we treating? Psychiatr Serv 56: 529–531. Find this article online
Papolos D, Papolos J (2000) The bipolar child. New York: Random House. 416 p.
Brooks K (2000 July 19) Families with mentally ill children confront health care shortcomings, undeserved stigma of “bad parenting.”. Fort Worth Star-Telegram: 1.
Mick E, Biederman J, Dougherty M, Aleardi M (2004) Comparative efficacy of atypical antipsychotics for pediatric bipolar disorder [abstract]. Acta Psychiatr Scand 110: 29. Find this article online
Mick E, Biederman J, Aleardi M, Dougherty M (2004) Open trial of atypical antipsychotics in pre-schoolers with bipolar disorder [abstract]. Acta Psychiatr Scand 110: 29. Find this article online
Marson A, Jacoby A, Johnson A, Kim L, Gamble C, et al. (2005) Immediate versus deferred antiepileptic drug treatment for early epilepsy and single seizures: A randomised controlled trial. Lancet 365: 2007–2013. Find this article online

The full article source is located at http://medicine.plosjournals.org/perlserv/?request=get-document&doi=10.1371/journal.pmed.0030185

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-03T02:58:00.000+10:00

Today's edition, which is really yesterday's, is a bit late. As you can see from the time post on this, it is rather late, but that's because I was so tired that I was in bed by 8.30pm. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Still, I didn't sleep through obviously. I woke up at 10.30pm and then again at 11.30pm, so I got up and started to do some work.

After the little "debate" with my wife yesterday, I couldn't sleep because I was very upset. I was up until 2am. She rang me at 11am yesterday morning to tell me that she had ordered a new pump for the house and I had to go and pick it up and install it. I was still asleep when she rang. Well I went and picked up the pump and I did install it and got it all working. They're mongrel things pumps. Seems to take ages to make sure that all the leaks are sealed properly. After doing the pump though I was on a bit of a roll. I also made a letterbox and put the base in place for a new tank for the chook shed. I have got behind with my web sites though, but it was really good to have a day off and away from them. I may do some more outdoor work later today, but the weather is pretty bad at the moment. It's blowing a gale and there is fine rain being blown all around the place. Good to be indoors.

Mood rating at time of post - 3

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-02T00:23:00.001+10:00

Hello all,

It's been an extremely busy day. I feel I learned a lot about adsense today and the placement of ads so I spent a lot of time revising my sites in the hope of generating additional income from them.

Had a helluva fight with my darling wife tonight though and it really pains me. I am working my butt off to establish an income online. Yes, I am working something like 16 hours a day. Yes, I am totally driven and obsessive. Yes, I do want to make myself independent of the insurance company, but she just can't seem to understand that this won't happen overnight. Everything that I am doing now is just another of my hair brain schemes. That is so very frustrating to be told that when you are working so hard to achieve something. To me, it seems that her idea of results is getting a pay cheque at the end of the week and it doesn't matter how hard I try and convince her, business is not like that. I may well have to put in the efforts for 2 or 3 or even 6 months to see the return on the hard work that I have been putting in now.

It was so frustrating. She even said she had made a mistake in marrying me. Well that made me feel terrific, although I must say that she did apologise later. Even so, in the intervening time, I actually felt suicidal. I thought, well, what's the bloody point? I was really upset and felt totally destroyed inside.

She is absolutely right in some of the things she says. We did buy this property to come out here and live with our horses, but we did that before the insurance company took away my payments. Whilst I have them back now, I live in constant fear, almost to the point of paranoia that they will do it again. That is why I am so driven to create alternative income that is independent of these mongrels.

Mood rating at time of post...... 2 and very bloody angry.

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-05-02T00:23:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

It's been an extremely busy day. I feel I learned a lot about adsense today and the placement of ads so I spent a lot of time revising my sites in the hope of generating additional income from them.

Had a helluva fight with my darling wife tonight though and it really pains me. I am working my butt off to establish an income online. Yes, I am working something like 16 hours a day. Yes, I am totally driven and obsessive. Yes, I do want to make myself independent of the insurance company, but she just can't seem to understand that this won't happen overnight. Everything that I am doing now is just another of my hair brain schemes. That is so very frustrating to be told that when you are working so hard to achieve something. To me, it seems that her idea of results is getting a pay cheque at the end of the week and it doesn't matter how hard I try and convince her, business is not like that. I may well have to put in the efforts for 2 or 3 or even 6 months to see the return on the hard work that I have been putting in now.

It was so frustrating. She even said she had made a mistake in marrying me. Well that made me feel terrific, although I must say that she did apologise later. She is absolutely right in some of the things she says. We did buy this property to come out here and live with our horses, but we did that before the insurance company took away my payments. Whilst I have them back now, I live in constant fear, almost to the point of paranoia that they will do it again. That is why I am so driven to create alternative income that is independent of these mongrels.

Mood rating at time of post...... 2 and very bloody angry.

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-04-30T21:55:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

It's been a sort of a "nothing" day today. I went to a 50th birthday party last night which was all right, but I really wasn't in the mood to go anywhere. I think I am really becoming some sort of hermit. I just prefer to stay at home. What a shame I can't get everything delivered and that would save me going into town at all!

I slept for 10 hours last night. I still can't believe it. I was in bed by 12 midnight and woke up at 10am this morning. I've been tired all day though still and wanted to have a snooze. I've avoided that, but I am going to bed now.

I'm pretty pleased with myself that I've been maintaining my posting on this blog, even though there isn't much response. It doesn't really matter. What is important is that I keep posting and recording my thoughts and feelings.

All the best wherever you may be.

The Bipolar Daily

2006-04-29T19:35:00.000+10:00

Hello all,

Been a nothing sort of a day overall really. Miserable weather after 12.5 mm (or 1/2 inch) of rain last night which was desperately needed for the garden and the paddocks.

I slept for a solid 8 hours last night which was great. Woke up at 8.30 and started work. Weekends don't really exist for me. One day is the same as the next. I was working on my article sites all day approving or declining new articles, but at 2.30pm I was just so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and had to go to bed. I only got to sleep for 1/2 an hour though, but it was enough. Bit of a power nap and back into it. Still totally driven and obsessed by what I am doing.

This post is a bit early tonight I suppose because we have to go to a 50th birthday party. I really don't want to go out at all. That's nothing new these days as I have become quite the hermit. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

Mood rating at time of post - 4

Regards to all,

The Bipolar Daily - Late Edition

2006-04-28T23:51:00.000+10:00

Well it's 11.45pm and time to knock off work I suppose. Been hard at it all day with my article directories still. All articles are approved and I am keeping up to date. I have also been through the process of registering an account with 345 article directories so I can submit articles to them. I have one on bipolar disorder that I want to get out for a start. It's been quite an intensive day.

Not much else to report except it's raining here which is great. We certainly need it.

I haven't put my moods in for the last couple of posts, but overall I am quite steady. That's in my opinion anyway. Although I am obsessed, intense and working very hard, I feel quite OK within myself. It's probably the first time for a long time I can actually say I feel "normal". Consequently:-

Mood rating at time of post:- 5

Take care all,

The Bipolar Daily - Early Edition

2006-04-28T11:47:00.000+10:00

Well it could also be regarded as the "late edition" too. I didn't post yesterday. I was just too tired and was in bed early. I was up early and working by 6.30am but feeling very tired indeed. This continued all through the day, but I deliberately avoided having a sleep as I was planning on having an early night and a good night's sleep as well.

I feel as if I'm suffering from "information overload". Well, that's how I felt yesterday and it was really funny because on the ABC programme "Catalyst" last night they were talking about that very thing. It almost sounded like they had used me as a model. Checking emails every five minutes, running eight programmes at once on the computer and downloading heaps of information. I actually have a huge store of information that I have downloaded to give away on my article sites, but still haven't even got to reading it all. I am still finalising templates and making sure the sites are "perfect". I mean, seriously, you wouldn't be bipolar unless things were perfect now would you?

Anyway, I did get to bed and to sleep by 9.30pm. I was up at 5.30am this morning and back at it again. No rest for the wicked is there?

Regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-04-26T17:06:00.000+10:00

I'm a little early with my post today as I usually post before bed, but something came up and I wanted to get it down while it was fresh in my mind.

When I was formerly self-employed, I had a Personal Sickness & Accident Insurance policy to protect me. Once I went off work, this took effect. Now these people are nothing but smiling hyenas who love it while taking your money, but they sure as hell hate paying out. I've already been to the law once over them cutting my payments and had an 18 month battle that cost me $5,500 to win. Now they are at it again, sending letters asking for tax returns, medical reports and the like. I already sent the information in January and then in March I get another letter the same! My psychiatrist sent the medical information under separate cover to me sending the financial information and these idiots appear to have lost both. I wish I could name the company here! When I got the second letter, I just bundled it all up and sent it back to them with a curt note telling them it had already been sent.

Now today I get another letter and on reading it you would reckon you were dealing with a complete lack of morons who can't understand written English. They still don't get that they have been sent the information and have asked for it all again.

Needless to say I am feeling very angry at the moment. I loathe dealing with these people. I have an anxiety attack every time I see one of their envelopes and that has certainly happened this afternoon. I'm over the anxiety now and the anger has well and truly set in.

Oh, the joys of being bipolar!!

The Bipolar Daily

2006-04-25T23:25:00.000+10:00

It's been a perfect Autumn day here today. Sky a perfect cloudless blue and no wind. The right temperature where it's not to hot and not too cold and it just invites you to get outside and do something. Of course, one must get one's priorities right and do all the inside important things first like - checking your emails of course!

I had an uninterrupted nights sleep again and woke up at 7.30am. I got up and had a coffee, but was still tired, so I returned to bed and slept until 10.30am. I had already had 8 hours sleep, so that ended up making it 10.5 in total for the night/morning.

After doing some web design work this morning I got out into the paddocks this afternoon and did some physical work fencing. I'm building some yards to exercise the horses in and I must say that it is a job that has seen a fair amount of procrastination. The posts are sort of sitting in their holes and just need straightening up and tamping down to complete it. Then it will simply be a matter of running some tape around them and putting a gate on and it's all done.

I don't know about you, but I find I am hopeless at starting things. Jobs always seem as big as a mountain and then once I start it gets knocked over pretty quickly. This doesn't matter what the job is either. It can be things I love doing just as much as things that are a bit "so-so". Is it a bipolar thing, or just a complete lack of organisation?

Well, it's 11.30 here so time to go to bed I think.

Have a good one!

Mood rating at time of post - 6

The Bipolar Daily

2006-04-24T23:40:00.000+10:00

I am so very, very, very tired. I had a good night's sleep last night, but have been tired al day to the point that it has been hard staying awake. I've done so purely on the basis that I didn't want be up all night. I thought this might happen if I had a sleep, so I didn't go to bed for a while.

We had some friends over tonight who had travelled a fair way to see us and we don't see them very often. My wife suggested we cook a camp oven on the open fire so that is exactly what I did. For those of you who don't know what a camp oven is, I'll edit this post and put a photo up in a day or so.

It's a funny thing, but you get so bogged down in what you're doing often, and I think whether you be bipolar or not, that you forget to stop and smell the roses. That is what tonight was like for me. There is nothing better than sitting around an open fire outside, watching the sun go down and then the moon come up, the brilliant array of stars that follow and enjoying watching the crackling embers as you derive some warmth from them.

Well I have just got to go to bed. I just cannot keep the peepers open any longer.

Mood rating at time of post - I neither know nor care!

Kind regards,

The Bipolar Daily

2006-04-23T22:55:00.000+10:00

I thought that was a good headline. I might use it from now on and then give the post a sub title.

First of all, I want to recommend that if you are a bipolar that you get on over to Fyreniyce and register for their email list. This site has been online for quite a number of years servicing bipolars with an enormous wealth of information. The email list serves as a great opportunity for bipolars to meet other bipolars and exchange views, news, feelings and experiences. I have been a member of the list for quite a number of years and met some absolutely fantastic people. If you are bipolar then you can usually resonate with others who are fellow travellers.

It's interesting that I have been talking a fair bit about sleep on here of late. It seems that this is flavour of the month almost on the bipolar email list I referenced above. It's always nice to know you're not alone.

Last night I had eight hours full sleep but still woke up dog tired. I had to have a snooze this afternoon and now at 11pm of course I am all awake and go, go, go!! Mind you I have had some problems with one of my web sites and it's sent me into a "tizz" worrying sick about it all. It is now back working again thank goodness.

Sunday today here. I hate the weekends because I feel I should be out working around the house or the paddocks or something like that, but I'd rather be here doing something on the computer. Then I feel guilty about not doing the other things. I am driven by the need to make some money on the internet so I have no dependence on other sources. Once this happens, then I think I won't be so obsessive about spending so much time on the computer. I might talk more about this when I collect my thoughts a bit more, but at the moment I am quite frustrated by it all.

No, stuff it..... I'll talk about it now. I've been trying to do something online for years. I've read all the information and even purchases courses. I've downloaded ebooks and followed their advice and still there is nominal income from my sites. One of them has 4,500 visitors a month and do you reckon any of them click on a Google ad to put a few sheckels in my pocket....no, very few indeed. I don't know what the problem is, I don't know what I am doing wrong, if anything, but I will find out if it kills me. I have no desire to make a million a year. If I did, I would give most of it away. I only want enough to live on in a comfortable manner, so someone, or a few someones would benefit from a substantial amount of money if I was getting a million. In fact, it would be great to donate it to an advertising campaign to remove the stigma of bipolar disorder.

Take care all.

Mood Rating At Time Of Writing - Probably a 5 (but a bit angry and frustrated)

Sleep Is A Strange Thing

2006-04-22T10:39:00.000+10:00

After yesterday's ridiculous episode of waking at 2.30am and working through the day except for an hour back in slumberland, last night was the total opposite. Fast asleep by 11pm and slept right through till 7.30pm this morning. Today I'm feeling totally washed out though and could well go back to bed for some more sleep. I might do that this afternoon.

It's quite cold here today, so I'll probably spend some time by the fire. I love the cold weather although most bipolars find that the shortened days and cold affect their moods more. Perhaps it's because I'm an inside person that I like being "snuggled" up by the fire in the warmth with the wind and rain howling around outside. I wish it would rain. We've been in a drought for the last eight years although the word is that finally this year is to be quite wet. That may well affect my fellow bipolars as wet weather usually means darker days.

Mood rating at present time - 4

Well I Did Lift A Fair Bit - Until Now

2006-04-21T21:20:00.000+10:00

I actually came right up to about a 7 I would say. I got very busy and re-edited a number of the templates on my Best Content Articles site. Tonight however, it's been another nose dive into the mire. I can't believe I am actually sitting here posting this. It would be great to have some visitors to the site with some comments so there would be some interaction, but I'm sure this will come over time.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, if you're reading any of this, then I hope you are well.

Take care,

Another Terrible Night's Sleep

2006-04-21T08:25:00.000+10:00

If you are bipolar, then you are no stranger to the problems of sleep. When we are manic we don't need any, or very little, and then when depressed we just want to go to bed. At times though sleep is just something that the bipolar has to simply deal with.

I've been up since 2.30am this morning tapping away here at the computer keys. Thank goodness I do have an affinity for this cursed machine or I wouldn't know what to do with myself. It's not exactly the appropriate hour to go visiting friends now is it? So, I've been sitting here reading forums, a couple of ebooks, modifying some pages and adding RSS feeds to this blog and another.

Are RSS feeds new to you? Well all they are is a means of keeping you informed of when a page is updated. If you are new to this, the easiest method is to subscribe via the email and whenever I post on here, you will receive an email about it.

I think my mood has lifted a little from the last few days. I would put myself at a "4" at the moment as I write this. I would love to get to an eight by the end of the day.....LOL....and stay there too!

Now if you are bipolar, don't be shy about posting a comment to the posts or even just saying hello. As the site says, it is written by a bipolar for bipolars and I want to hear from you.

Take care,

Organisation

2006-04-20T11:18:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling a little better today than yesterday, but I just can't seem to get organised. So what's new? I have so much I can do and find it really difficult to prioritise.

My biggest project is to get my book finished. It is effectively written, well the first draft anyway, but now I need to go back and re-write several sections for a number of reasons. The most important of these is that I started to write the book anonymously and then found it impossible to do. So I need to go back an address all the hidden bits in the book. It just always seems hard to start on any project, then when I do I can't stop until it is finished and I become obsessed with it at the expense of everything else that needs doing.

Well I Beat The Depression (A Little)

2006-04-19T18:57:00.000+10:00

Although I have felt like doing very little today, I did actually get into playing with this site. The colours are now changed, I've added some advertising and I think overall it doesn't look too bad. I even put some links on to other bipolar sites.

At times, it can feel very lonely being bipolar and on top of that you just want to be alone anyway. It is just so frustrating that you can be on top of the world one minute, or should I say "in heaven" and then down in the depths of hell the next. Hence the name of this bipolar blog "Heaven And Hell". It seems that the life of a bipolar is a constant road travelled between the two points.

Hopefully the site will attract some visitors who are prepared to share their feelings and what life as a bipolar means to them also. Mmmm....that reminds me, I had better go and check to make sure the blog is open for posting.

Depression Sets In

2006-04-19T18:56:00.000+10:00

What a terrible day. It's difficult dragging one foot after another. I had to go to bed and sleep for an hour because I was feeling so tired. Not at all motivated to do anything, but I have to do something because I just can't sit and do nothing. I don't think that makes too much sense.

So I'll play with a web file. It doesn't matter if I do it or don't. It doesn't even matter if I finish it or not. It will just be something to while away the time just like some people do crossword puzzles or watch totally inane soap operas on television.

What I really should be doing is improving the look and feel of this blog. But I couldn't be bothered thinking that hard! So anyone calling in early will have to put up with it and those that come later won't even know!

How Have Things Been?

2006-04-19T18:54:00.000+10:00

Well for the last month they have been brilliant to say the least. I have got heaps of stuff done, but all on the computer. A couple of new sites, purchased some software I didn't really need at the moment and spending hours and hours online. I know it's not healthy, but I can't help myself. I find my mind is most active at night and in the small hours of the morning. This is when I work best. Consequently, I end up having to have naps during the day.

On Monday I crashed. Not heavily, but a real slump. Instead of working on line, I went up the paddock and put up a fence. I just wanted to be alone. Normally my wife would have to be at me for ages to go and do a job like this, but I went and did it because it suited me.

That night her parents came for dinner and to watch some old family movies. I had no interest in them whatsoever, but at 8pm, I couldn't stay awake any longer. I went to bed, but awoke at 11pm, then worked till 2am, then slept till 5am, then worked till 7.30am and then went back to bed until 9am when I got up for the day. I think this is the worst amount of broken sleep I can remember.

I want to try and post every day or at least every couple of days here on the blog. If you have some comments, simply post them.

Bipolar Mood Disorder

2006-04-02T22:15:00.000+10:00

Welcome back to our pages. Why welcome back? Well it's because Blogger kindly deleted them for some unexplained reason.

When I came here the other day to update the blog, there was a message that they thought it was a spam blog. The message went on to say that obviously it wasn't because I was reading the message. So I replied to them quoting the image letters and thought all would be OK. Then I come back tonight to find that the blog had been deleted. So it's back to the drawing board!

Maybe I am paranoid and think they're out to get me, but I'm allowed to be.....LOL.

Regards,